On the tail of the massive AWS DNS causes outage, this is stupid simple. It seems a network I am remoted into has some weird "everything is slow" issues. Sigh. Their DHCP server is handing out 0.0.0.0 as the primary DNS. Groan. So everything is timing out on initial connections. Screaming into the void no longer makes me feel better. The void is just too busy with more important screams.